Domestic violence
Consequences of Violence against Women
SILENCE: Violence turns into a taboo-subject. Women victims of violence make tremendous efforts to hide it. The suffered pain and humiliation live only in the woman’s mind.
THE REASONS:
• Charging the victim with the sense of guilt: “Well, if he beats you, you probably open your mouth too wide. With her talking a woman is able to wreck a man’s nerves. Woman is just like a snake – she bites!”
• Admitting her own weakness first to herself and then to the outer world.
• Denying and keeping silent about violence means denying and keeping silent about our own evil and aggressiveness.
THE RESULT:
• Unlocking a mental illness.
• The victim turns into a violator.
• Acquiring a victim’s identity.
THE INNER CONTRADICTION: On one hand it is provoked by the woman’s desire to “forget” about the act of violence, to erase it from her mind and to go on living in a way, as if it has never happened. On the other hand it is provoked by the woman’s need to talk about the suffered violence this way starting to put the painful memories out of her head.
THE GUILT: The commonly accepted norm, considering the victim to be guilty, is suffered as a personal conviction. The woman, who has been a victim of violence, live with the thought that she is the one who has provoked the crime. She believes that violence will stop if she changes and becomes “better”.
LOSING FAITH IN HERSELF: The woman feels helpless and passive, unable to cope by herself. This predetermines her low spirits. The victim is mentally “crushed”, she feels humiliated, unworthy, defective.
A STATE OF DEPENDENCE: Women victims of violence are in a state from which they could foresee the coming act of violence, but are not able to escape. The strong emotional, family or financial dependence are the reason for the woman’s staying by the violator.
CONTRADICTORY SENSES: Very often the woman victim of violence still loves her partner, but this love is accompanied by a fear for her physical and mental survival. This state of deep confusion makes her indecisive.
CHANGING THE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS: Distrust in the relations between people is provoked. These relations are often expressed in convictions such as: “All men are the same”; “Even if I meet another man, he will be just the same as the previous one”; ”No one is going to help me”.
SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ATTEMPTED SUICIDE: Despair and hopelessness of the situation urge some women to put an end to their life.
THE CRISIS: The emotional state the woman gets into after an act of violence is described as crisis. In such a state emotions are quite intensive, fears are rather increased, the woman is very confused and there exists a risk that those around could think her mentally ill.
The final result of violence: the victim’s inner confidence is marred. For her the world is a place, more hostile and insecure than for anyone else.